Life goes on after divorce. In many cases, so does the desire for a romantic relationship too. Even if you had an entirely amicable divorce, it can be difficult to get used to (this assumes this desire did not precede your divorce) the idea of dating someone else. Once you start dating, you’ll have to figure out the answer to a brand new question – when you should start talking about a “special” person with your kids. There is no single answer for when you should introduce your new significant other to your children, but there are a few factors that you can keep in mind.
Consider the Relationship
Not all relationships are meant to stand the test of time. It’s very important for you to consider where your relationship is going before you get your children involved in any way. Is this someone who you will be spending a considerable amount of time with in the future? Is there any chance that this person might have a long-term place in your family? If you reach the point at which you can answer both of those questions positively, it may be time to introduce your new partner to your children.
While there is not necessarily a right time to introduce your child to a new partner, there are definitely wrong times. Don’t, for example, try to introduce the partner on a day that was significant to your former relationship. Avoid big days that should put the focus on your child, as well. If you’ve gone through a recent court battle or had a recent meeting with your divorce lawyer, you may want to wait a few days as well. You absolutely don’t want to make the introduction of your new significant other something that will be linked to an unpleasant event in the recent past. If the timing feels wrong, it probably is wrong. If you reach the point where either the children or the new partner are wondering about the relationship, though, you will have to find a time that works for everyone – even if it is uncomfortable at first.
No matter when you make the decision, it’s going to be a big deal. If you’re dealing with any kind of family issue, make sure to think about not just how it will impact you, but how it will impact your children. And make sure you think about how the introduction of you “significant other” will affect your former spouse. Consider how best to let your ex-spouse know that you are ready for introductions. If you have questions that need the help of a domestic relations lawyer, feel free to contact the offices of Sharon Lieblich. While the answers may not always be easy, she can help you find solutions that will work.